Heya! Well it has been a very eventful week here and I am just sort of beginning to wrap my brain around it all. Without getting into detail, I will be (and already have been) interviewing for possible job positions in some great businesses. Now I won't be saying what they are but I am extremely hopeful and can't wait to see what comes of them.
However, I know all too well how anxiety-inducing interviewing can be. Especially if it is a higher level position than a typical retail or restaurant job. Not that I am an expert in any way, shape or form, but I am learning different things that have helped me get through them.
I can get horrible social anxiety in situations that I feel are out of my control and one of the most important tasks for me is realizing that interviews ARE in your control. Here is my typical routine before any interview:

1. Be Prepaaaarrreeeddd (Lion King reference lol)
This tip will come up on pretty much any google search of "how to prepare for job interviews" but it means something different from my perspective. When setting up dates for an interview I always set it for a time in the early morning. Why you may ask? because then I'm not sitting around panicking all day long and psyching my self out. Once the interview is set (hopefully with at least three days of mental preparation) I start rehearsing. I will literally stand in front of a mirror and answer questions that you can find online.
At first it is awkward to try to come up with what makes you so wonderful right off the top of your head. And that's okay! That's why you are practicing now. And really take this time for some inward reflection as well. Don't say "I have no hobbies" or "Strengths? Who me?" (two thoughts I have literally had on multiple occasions). And I don't lie and say "My hobbies include making media strategies in my mind" because they know that ain't the truth. Just be yourself!

2. Talk It Out
Whether it's with friends, family, a roommate, a random stranger at Starbucks, tell someone about your nerves. 9/10 times they know exactly how you are feeling (or at least to some degree) and may have helpful hints that they themselves have learned from their previous experiences.
I will literally call up anyone I can beforehand and ask for advice or just vent about how the process is making me feel. They will always be supportive of you.

3. Walk it Out
Exercise can be such a great stress relief, especially with anxiety. I, my friends, am not in great shape so if I go out for a run chances are I am thinking too much about my collapsed lung than my job interview. Or go take a class, just get your mind away from things and sweat it out! Before one of my big interviews last year I took a Zumba class the night before. It was EXHAUSTING and completely hilarious (um 6'2'' Sam out dancing like a mad woman? A very high form of comedic release). That night I slept like a baby and the next day just kept that same mentality and was completely relaxed.

4. Go to Bed!
I am definitely a self-proclaimed insomniac ESPECIALLY if I'm nervous about an event the next day. So what do I do? Be home by 7 and start to wind down, put on some relaxing music, fill up a warm bath tub and sink in. After that do your whole bed time routine, pop a melatonin in (a natural sleep aid) and hop right into bed. Oh it's only 8:30? tough cookies, get in bed. Grab your interviewing notes and skim over them. Don't do practice runs, just browse over the notes you've made and put them away. Light a candle (or if you are like me, incense) and lower the lights. Close your eyes and vision yourself doing amazing at the interview. See them shaking hands with you, throwing cash at you as you walk out the door, starting a parade in your honor for greatest interview ever, whatever makes you happy! Keep your eyes closed no matter how awake your brain is, keep. them. closed. And don't get mad at yourself for not falling asleep just stay relaxed and keep envisioning success.

5. Know Your Worth
So you are all ready for the interview, nice and well dressed, arrived 10 minutes early, said your hello's and they ask you the first question... you draw a blank. Hey guess what, it happened to me. They said "tell me about yourself" and boom darkness. Don't let this get the better of you! Instead take a deep breath, smile, and continue on with the next question. You are an amazing person with incredible skills and knowledge... LET THAT SHINE THROUGH! Don't be intimidated by a professional because they were in the exact same spot at some point in your career.
And even if the interview was horrible and you know you won't be getting the position, don't lose that sense of how great you are. There will be other interviews and opportunities that will be exactly right for you.


So onward and upward my friends! Let me know if you have any tips/tricks that help you get through interviews :) xoxo Sam

I swear I blink and summer is already over. It is really just insanity in my mind. But I am feeling really ready for this final year. As absolutely terrifying the whole idea of ending college feels like, I am so so SO so ready to be out. Being home obviously gives me a glimpse at the life I lived prior to college. As I have probably said before, being home I always revert back to that person I was. Someone whose insecurities always got the better of them. It is honestly the worst feeling in the world to know that you have left and accomplished so much in the world but come home and immediately feel like a teenager again.

I bleed at the thought that I never update this blog but of course here I am to fill in the latest and greatest news. Lately things of been tough. Not just the normal day-to-day stresses of school and friends but also internally. I felt like I started off the year with a clean mindset and here I am, March, and I can feel myself reverting back to old ways. I don't like complaining because my life really has a lot of wonderful things about it! But sometimes it just gets to be too much.
I know pretty much every twentysomething can relate to the feeling of being lost. Do I love my major? no. Am I ready to start my life? yes. Am I ready to take on adult responsibilities? uhh...
All of these things are constantly swirling around our minds and eventually it just gets to be too much and you want to run away as fast as possible from everything and everyone.
There are moments that make it worth it, like walking in New York Fashion Week, but more often than not there are moments where you think... what am I actually doing with my life. Sure everyone says we have time but I don't want to waste the one life we are given just being unhappy with who I am and what I'm doing.
I guess I came here to say I am done with the city that never sleeps. I am tired. I am broke. And I am flailing.
With that said I am not depressed about life. I know there is so much more the world has to offer me. Maybe it's because I am figuring out who I am and what I want that I am unsatisfied with the life that I am living at this moment. It definitely doesn't mean I won't ever get away from it because come spring of 2016 ADIOS NEW YORK!
I will always appreciate the time I have spent here and the memories I have shared with some amazing people. But it's time for something different. Some people are empowered by New York and I honestly envy their tenacity and courage.
We get out what we put in to life. Maybe I didn't put enough of myself into loving it here. Maybe I was someone who was meant for a different path and didn't know until I learned for myself. But I think that is the great thing about leaving. That now I can go back and know what the world was like away from the support and comfort of home.
But then again... maybe it's the fact that it is almost April and there is currently snow falling from the sky. Or maybe I just have a chronic dissatisfaction with life (love quoting woody allen movies). I wish some wise old sage could come and tell me that I made the right choice. That I didn't screw up by choosing to go so far away from home. That New York was where I was meant to find myself.
I didn't know this post would turn into such a bummer but I needed to express to others that you aren't alone if you feel like you made the wrong choice. You aren't alone if you don't love the life you are living. And you aren't alone if you are ready to make the changes necessary to be a happier person.
I am tired of putting on a brave face for everyone and acting like its all flowers and rainbows.
Okay... Angsty rant over.

Have you ever felt like you are on a constant stream of disappointing people. Like no matter what you do, someone feels like you let them down. Maybe I'm paranoid but lately, everything I do seems to make someone upset. Studying abroad has been freaking amazing except for the fact that I am always doing stuff for other people. I never thought I had a problem doing my own thing until I came here. Then it seemed like all I was doing was making sure that no one was mad at me. I started stretching myself thin and then, ultimately, would let everyone down. Either I'm with my friends and my sister is upset or I'm with my sister and my friends are wondering where I am.
Last monday I had minor breakdown. Call it hormones or seasons changing but damn, I was extremely upset. My sister and I had been planning to go to Italy but I was waiting to hear what my friends plans were as well. She was tired of me always delaying it and not being able to make up my mind that she said she didn't want to go with me at all. Well I took this as a failure. That my friends were now going without me and that my sister was angry with me... it all became way too much. Sitting in my host moms kitchen trying to catch my breath she comes in and immediately gives me a hug. Funny how much a hug can release a calming emotion no matter who it's from. Trying to explain to her in Spanish why I was so upset was extremely difficult but she told me she is the same as me. Always taking on other people's problems like they are my own.
I finally was able to talk with my mom, which I knew was all I needed to get my head back on straight but for the rest of the week I really tried to be proactive about making my own decisions. Doing things for myself and not letting other people's negative attitude effect my own mental state.
I don't mind doing things for other people but why I let them get the better of me will always remain a mystery to me. If anyone has any advice for how they cope with disappointment I would love to hear it.

IT'S HERE! IT'S HERE! IT'S FINALLY HERE! When people talk about how annoying the visa process is... it is no joke. Admittedly I am an anxious person when it comes to just about anything but the weeks leading up to getting the visa were some of the most stressful days of my life! Not only was it extremely expensive but I knew there could be zero room for mistake because of how limited on time I was. However last night after coming home from a two day vacation in the mountains with my sister and cousin my mom says "Your visa came." No joke at that moment I flew up the stairs with more speed than I even knew possible. And yes, there it was, lying on my bed like a shining beacon of success. Immediately I felt the wave of fulfillment rain over me. Although my sister hasn't received hers yet (only because she is applying for a resident visa not a student visa) I am confident that everything will work out perfectly.
Then that got me thinking. Sure maybe I overreacted and checked all my papers 2894823 times before the appointment and emailed my program about 9859028 times to make sure everything was correct but... this happiness that I feel at having done it all by myself is so rewarding. Everyone says there will be these big life moments and, although it isn't life changing, just seeing the "Hasta Seis Meses" writing is exhilarating.
Now, however, my priorities have shifted to studying as much as I possibly can in Spanish. Lord knows it is going to give me another ulcer but after riding on such a high like last night... nothing can stop me!

I may not be the most experienced person to talk about this but I think it is extremely important nonetheless. Knowing yourself and reading the signs that your body gives you is one of the greatest tools you can develop. Having the ability to say "can I do this" or "should I do this" is extremely hard to perfect because there is always multiple voices, whether inside your head or from other people, that tell you to do the opposite.
Friday night I went out and had a blast with all my friends. Dancing, having deep conversations, laughing my ass off…it was all there and it was fantastic. After a long long LONG week I was ready to let loose and party. This also means going to sleep around 3 o'clock.
Saturday morning my roommates wake me up at 8 o'clock because they are leaving for a retreat. While usually I don't mind being woken up (light sleeper problems) today I really couldn't believe that I was unable to fall back asleep because I could tell I was still exhausted. Around noon my friend and I went to the met and walked around and laughed and mimicked the paintings and statues. After we went down to east village and went thrifting and then ate at Artichoke pizza (my absolute favorite). Well the entire day I could feel my body slowly crumbling in. My feet ached, my eyes pounded, and the thought of have to lift my arms was just too much to handle.
We got back around 6 and I went to my room… and basically died until my soul was resurrected at 9 o'clock this morning. I had been invited to a few parties/bars but I knew that what I needed was sleep. Pure, raw, uninterrupted sleep. And I did but it made me realize I need to know when to draw the line more. Sleeping early on week days, leaving the party earlier on the weekends… anything helps. But all in all I am rested and rejuvenated for the homework day ahead!
Happy Sunday!

It's inevitable right? There is no way to stop it and yet we all try... every single day of our lives we try to stop change from happening. I love the beginning of semesters because its like a breath of fresh air. But then the reality hits in when I think I am one semester closer to being finished with college and preparing for the world ahead. It's a scary thought, but one that comes with much preparation and excitement. Seeing my sister finish school was thrilling for me just as much as it was for her. Finally I was seeing firsthand what life after school could be like and... well... not so good. She was (and still is) absolutely terrified of the road ahead. Graduating a semester early she didn't have a set plan. Although she has had mountains and mountains of support from her friends and family to do whatever she wants to do she is still hesitant. School loans and low job opportunities are staring her straight in the face and, like many other recent grads, it all looks so bleak. I am not necessarily the most optimistic person but I do try to make sure that everyone around me stays positive. Trying to convince my sister that everything will be okay and that not having it figured out at 21 is perfectly normal, but the truth is that I don't really know how she feels. For at least another 2 years I am bound to my school work and, other than looking for part time work, I do not have to join the real world.
Like I said earlier change is going to happen whether we are prepared or not. You can face it with trepidation and dread or you can grab change and make it whatever you want to be! Change up your morning routine, your workout routine, your social life. All of these things CAN be in your control as long as you have the desire to do it.
“Man cannot discover new oceans unless he has the courage to lose sight of the shore.” -Andre Gide - 

Well everybody it is officially the end of my first week of sophomore year! I don't even know where to begin. I guess I can start with having to say goodbye to my AMAZING california friends last friday at a little bonfire on the beach (minus the bonfire). I always pray that saying goodbye will get easier and easier each time I leave but I am now finding out that the opposite is happening. I can't help to feel that as I am going on a different path with my life, so are all my friends. To think that one day I will return home and they will all have either moved away or just moved on is terrifying. Of course I know that most of my friends will be life long. Being that I am 3000 miles away from them, maintaing constant interaction proves to be extremely difficult. None the less knowing that I have such an amazing support system back home is always empowering as I venture into the unknown.

I figure that this long bus ride will give me all the time I need to think of the 50 most important things I have learned my freshman year. (in no particular order)
1. Getting lost is not always a bad thing, you could end up meeting your best friend (talking about you Cassandre)
2. Do not lower your standards for friends just because you are afraid of being a loner.
3. Don't make snap judgments on people because most of the time you are very, VERY wrong.
4. You will stay in touch with people you never thought you would.
5. You will lose touch with people you never thought you would.
6. Skype is one of the greatest inventions yet (even if your mom doesn't like it).
7. The more time you spend alone, the more homesick you are going to feel.
8. Coline is the Netflix champion because she can watch an entire season of Desperate Housewives in a day.
9. Not having a TV makes for a more productive life.
10. Netflix will cancel out all that productivity.
11. Sometimes the greatest nights are spent watching a movie with close friends.
12. Making forts is still so much fun but sleeping in them is not.
13. When the news names something "Frankenstorm", prepare accordingly.
14. Target was designed to hypnotize its customers into buying 100's of dollars of worthless shit every time you walk through the doors.
15. Don't go to target more than once a month.
16. Every time, EVERY TIME, you have to use the bathroom, one of your suite mates will be taking a shower
17. Don't lose a friendship because you feel torn between having to pick sides.
18. Do not walk up a muddy hill after it snows (christine this one is for you)
19. Boys like to play music loud enough that they have the experience of being in an actual club (whether this is true or not is unknown, but if not I do not understand the purpose of blasting loud dub step music...)
20. Its okay to go to bed at 11 at night in college (the stereotype that college kids don't get sleep is mainly for those with bad time management)
21. It is possible to go to bed at 3 every night and still function properly the next day
22. Do not take more than 3 naps a day or your brain will stop working
23. Don't take naps after 6 p.m.
24. If you are going to watch a movie that your friend loves, make sure you pay attention so you don't hurt their feelings.
25. Don't drink chocolate milk before a speech or you will choke half way through
26. You don't always have to go to museum sight visits because most of the time they have every artifact or design on the internet.
27. Museums are fun and a great way to waste time.
28. Always, ALWAYS bring a book with you on the subway.
29. Take advantage of everything the college has to offer.
30. Don't be afraid to audition for something (lets just say rocky horror) and make a complete fool out of yourself because it makes for a hilarious story
31. Don't quit something because of one bad experience
32. There is a club out there for everyone.
33. Do the readings even if you have to keep your eyes open with tape.
34. If you think the teacher may give a pop quiz, always be prepared.
35. If you think the teacher is not going to give a pop quiz, just know that they are.
36. Philosophy is NOT for everyone.
37. Be ready to listen to people's opinions that are completely different from your own and accept them for what they are. (i'm talking about you annoying kid in my philosophy class)
38. Just because you were bad at a subject in high school doesn't mean you will be horrible at it in college.
39. Don't choose a major going in to school unless you are absolutely certain that that is the path you want to go down.
40. Changing majors is frustrating and time consuming.
41. Do not get stuck in the no-workout rut.
42. If you do get stuck in the no-workout rut, make sure you plan your meals accordingly.
43. Yoga is the greatest invention ever.
44. Just because you can't (and probably never will) touch your toes, doesn't mean you can't enjoy yoga.
45. Don't laugh when you're in candlestick pose.
46. Don't get behind on laundry.
47. The laundry machines will never be empty on the weekends and don't talk yourself into thinking that they will be.
48. Spend as much time with friends as you possibly can because summer comes faster than you think
49. Remember it is not goodbye, it's "I'll see you later"
50. Never regret how you spent your time, but cherish how that time was spent.

Sorry for the lack of blog posts lately! So much has happened and I just can't find the time in the day to sit down and put it all together. Finals are really testing my limits right now. That and the fact that I have to travel across the country in just a matter of DAYS is not lessening the stress. But in the end it will all be worth it... I hope ;)

Also here is my current song obsession and study song. I have listened to it more times than I care to admit, but I hope you enjoy it!

This has been quite an odd Monday for my friends and I. It seems that everything we try to plan has a sneaky way of being canceled. For 2 months we have been signed up to go to Philadelphia this coming Saturday with the government club. However, they sent an email this morning saying how the funding for the trip isn't enough and it is "postponed" until next year. To make matters worse we had RSVP'ed to go to a fashion party in the city Tuesday night and my friend who organized it told us they sent an email today saying it was 21+. Hopefully the rest of this month isn't such a letdown.
On more exciting news, today was the warmest day New York has had since October and tomorrow it is going to be even warmer!!! You can feel the excitement on campus, especially on the quad where the majority of our school spent the day tanning (myself included). It is definitely the push the needed to get through this month.
Just 37 more days and I am California bound :)

To say this was a week from hell is an understatement. After an amazing spring break with my loved ones, the last thing on my mind was school work. I had a twelve page paper due tuesday and a friend coming from California on Thursday. As I was scrambling everything together (last minute of course) I get an email saying that the dorms are closing for the long weekend. So not only did I have a mountain of school work to catch up on... I had a friend coming with no where to stay.
In the end she had to cancel her flight and I found myself all alone with nothing to do and all the while watching my classmates pack up and go home for a few days. To say I lost my head a bit is putting it lightly. After an hour long meltdown and reassurance from my amazing mother and sister, I decided to look at this break as a time to be by myself and relax.
Today I woke up late and had a big breakfast with my friends Lani and Cassandre. I had a religion sight visit to the Metropolitan Museum of Art and we decided to make a day of it. It was finally a warm and sunny day in the city so we strolled through central park before going to the museum. We looked at all the old artworks and laughed when we found the people we thought they resembled. As it started to get colder I decided to come back to the dorm and do some homework and ended up writing my entire religion essay (3 WEEKS BEFORE IT WAS DUE!!!!)
I went to my friend Cassandre's room and we made mac and cheese and then my friend Lani came and brought us cookies. We watched Eat, Pray, Love (my all time favorite movie) and talked about all the traveling we want to do in life.
As I look back on this past week and think about all the stress and anxiety that I put myself through, it makes me realize I shouldn't take life so seriously. Although I am sad not to be with my family on Easter Sunday, I know I will be there in spirit. And I thank God everyday that I have such an amazing family waiting for me when I get home.
Happy "Good Friday"!