Oh, don't mind me just sitting here on the floor of an empty apartment trying to process the past five days... Graduation weekend is officially done and now I am a post graduate. All my friends have left and my roommate as well. My family left later yesterday but I quickly busied myself with packing so as not to linger too long on all the things I should be sad about.
The emphasis here is really on the fact that I SHOULD BE sad right now. Instead I feel unemotional (and if you really knew me you would find this terribly confusing). I am a pro at being overly emotional. I can cry on command and tend to get heartbroken from even the most menial of situations. But I'm sitting here waiting for tears to come and they haven't.
On graduation day I cried once for about five minutes as I hugged all my dearest friends goodbye. All of us caught up in the whirlwind of graduation, introducing parents to friends and friends to siblings etc etc. As we cabbed to the hotel I didn't feel upset knowing that when I returned to the apartment there would be no one there. Saying goodbye to my parents as they had an early flight, no tears. Walking across the Brooklyn Bridge with my sisters knowing it would be my last time walking around the city for a long long time, no tears. And even now as I have come to the full realization that it is over I can't cry.
Maybe I really did do a good job at prepping myself for the end. I am happy that I was never distant and right to the last minute my friends and I knew how much we loved each other and how special this time together has really been.
Actually, I think the part I'm most upset about is that I couldn't fit everything in my three pieces of luggage (shipping things from NYC is completely the bane of my existence). I'll be heading to a friends home in Long Island and then leaving Thursday night for California. So I suppose this will be my last post written in New York. As some parting remarks I just want to thank this city for being my escape. Thanks to Manhattan College for teaching me more than just education, the value of friendship. And thank you to this incredible experience that *even though I'm not crying* is heart-wrenching to believe that it has finally come to a close.
XOXO from New York Sam!

So back in 2013 when I was finishing up my first year of college I wrote a list of fifty different things I had learned during my time away. It is so funny to read back on them and honestly for the most part they are still very true. But as I have now completed four years I think I have a more complete understanding of myself and my time here. So I figured I would make a final list on the 50 most important lessons I've learned in college.
1. There's a 99.99% you're going to change your major.
2. Become friends with your professor, laugh at their dumb jokes, ask for guidance.
3. If you feel you are being treated unfairly by a professor, speak up. Chances are other students feel the same.
4. Grades are always negotiable.
5. If you think all nighters are a good idea...you're wrong. Do it once to say you have.
6. Learn the power of time management early on.
7. Extracurriculars are great but don't let them take over your life.
8. Read the g-dang books you are assigned in English classes. Reading is one of life's greatest treasures.
9. If you know your passion never let others interfere.
10. It's okay to not know your passion yet... keep experiencing life, it will come.
11. You may love your college town, you may hate your college town, but let it teach you a lesson about yourself.
12. There's a great chance you'll look into transferring... really assess if your current situation is as bad as you think it is.
13. Netflix should be consumed sparingly.
14. You are going to make best friends in college.
15. You are going to lose best friends in college.
16. That party/bar/frat house will most likely never be as great as spending a night in watching movies with friends.
17. Write your essays ahead of time. Don't become the night-before monster.
18. If you drink, make sure you trust the people you are with.
19. Having a bad day, week, semester is something everyone experiences.
20. Study Abroad. STUDY ABROAD. Even if they tell you it's impossible. Even if you have to take out loans. It will change you.
21. Don't study abroad with friends. Learning to travel alone will be extremely valuable.
22. Go somewhere you don't know the language.
23. Learn a new language in college. It could be the only chance you get.
24. Internships aren't going to come to you. It takes work.
25. Not having an internship doesn't make you a failure. Volunteer or join a club, it's all about experience.
26. Your parents miss you. Give them a call every once in awhile.
27. Leave your hometown for college.
28. Everyone has their own shit going on. But you are never to busy to call an old friend.
29. It's good you didn't peak in high school, it's even better not to peak in college... be patient that your time will come.
30. One day you'll look back at the memory of your first insane college roommate and laugh.
31. Don't compromise your own values to make friends.
32. Find people who are pieces of you, not the whole picture. Be unique.
33. Take advice sparingly... no one knows you like you do.
34. If you get a tattoo: Don't be drunk. Don't be cheap. Don't tell your parents.
35. It's okay to sleep around and it's okay to not sleep with anyone. Trust your intuition.
36. You will probably gain weight and lose it. You are more than the size of your jeans.
37. The cafeteria should never be taken for granted. Free chicken nuggets won't always be a reality.
38. If you thought you couldn't imagine a life without a boy maybe you don't love yourself as much as you thought.
39. If you do something awkward or embarrassing really own the moment.
40. Getting exempt from finals isn't a myth but it does take a lot of effort.
41. GPA doesn't reflect who you are as a person but it does reflect your dedication to learning.
42. Don't let people walk all over you. Find your voice but learn when to let things go.
43. There will be days you think it won't end. And there will be days you think it went too fast.
44. Don't kill yourself trying to be employed straight out of college. You have the rest of your life to work.
45. If you move somewhere cold... buy a good coat.
46. Take lots of pictures.
47. Four quarters is better than 100 pennies.
48. Say thank you to your parents.
49. Never take this time for granted.
50. ...

Hello! So New York has been just downright gloomy for literally like almost two weeks now. And if you live somewhere that has a colder climate you know that there is this weird/awkward inbetween phase where it's too hot to wear your big, puffy winter coats but is no where near warm enough to go without extra layers. I am someone who always jumps straight into summer once there is one hot day (it's the California in me I swear) and then I will be chronically cold for weeks after.
Now no one wants to go out and buy cold-weather clothes when summer is just around the corner but I scanned through some sites and found some pieces that would work well for the tween months!

Finally have some down time sit and blog! SO much has been going on lately with friends, family, school, work, blah blah blah. But everything is slowly but surely falling into place and I can only hold my breath and hope that things keep going smoothly. With 2.5 weeks left I am more ready than I expected to get on that plane and make the big move back to California. But there were few things that have caught my eye this past month that I would love to share with you all!

It's April 27th and I'm sitting in my college's cafe, looking back at the previous blog posts I have written after my birthday for the past four years. 19 I think was my favorite to look back on. The friends I had sitting around the table, the outfit I wore (cringe), and the general memories were just wild to see again.
I can literally remember my 19th birthday like it was yesterday, eating Yum Yum (my favorite Thai Food place before it had to go betray me) and then getting Magnolia Bakery while my friends screamed the happy birthday song to me in the middle of Rockefeller Plaza.
Then of course there was 20 which I believe was also at a Thai Food restaurant but must not have been as meaningful because the blog post mostly talked about how scared I was to turn 20... oh if only you knew 19-year-old Sam, if only you knew.
Last year really feels like yesterday and of course I went to a Thai Food restaurant because I'm nothing if not consistent. 21 was a really interesting year for me. I lost some friendships while others got stronger. I experienced loss as well as pure happiness. I laughed, cried, yelled, danced... I had a great 21st year.
As 22 (my favorite number since I was about 11) rolls in the day was really really great. Did I do anything really out of the ordinary? Nope. But I danced and laughed and sat at a table with some of the people who wanted to share my day with me. What more could I ask for in the end? And with less than three weeks of school left I don't know what 22 really has in store for me. Who knows who will be sitting round the table with me on my 23rd?
I told my friend yesterday that I didn't like birthday's because I always end up crying. She asked why and I told her it was because it was too nostalgic. What has my life accumulated to after 22 years? What was 2 year old Sam thinking on her birthday or 10 year old Sam? What did I want for my life at those moments that has changed to what I want from life now?
There is so much to be grateful for and I really came here to say that if this year is anything like yesterday... I am a very lucky 22 year old.

Well you guys we are coming into the final stretch! Less than thirty days until I will be walking across that stage at graduation... and man am I flipping out. I have been having some very interesting emotions surrounding it all. At certain moments I'll be happy, giddy, elated. But at other times I'm terrified, comatose, and just downright sad. My best friend from California came out and visited me last weekend and it was just incredible. We spent hours roaming around the city and I couldn't help but think that the next time I come to visit New York I will be a tourist. Four years has given me enough time to really feel like I have a grasp on this electric city and once I go back... who knows when I'll return?
I have a habit of convincing myself I don't like a place when I know that I'll be having to say goodbye. Throughout this entire year I've told people I didn't like the city anymore. It was too cold, too dirty, too crowded, etc. And for the most part those things hold some truth to them. But I was forgetting all the things I fell in love with four years ago. It's cold because there's seasons (something I had never experienced before), it's dirty because it's alive, it's crowded because it's an epicenter of life. All of these reasons that I had said out loud time and time again were all just a coping mechanism. The truth is I'm extremely sad my time here is running short.

Helloooooooo and happy Thursday! If March went fast April is literally going in triple fast-forward
but I still ain't complaining! This past week has been full of emotional drama in my personal life and I for one am just trying to stay above it all.
For today's post I thought I would share my favorite Instagram accounts that I follow. They are either really beautiful, really inspiring, or really funny.

So I have to admit I have a love of vintage clothing. I think my obsession with the 50's-70's has always inspired my own outfit buying decisions. Well the other day I was browsing ModCloth and came upon a number of pieces that I am dying to get my hand's on! I thought I would share some of them with you all.

So as of right now Adventures in the City that Never Sleeps has sadly come to an end. We are now entering the era of "The Leg Up" (more on what this name means to me later). It has been something I've been thinking about for awhile now and I finally decided to put it into action. I have to say it is a little invigorating to have something you created changing its name after such a long time.
When I started the blog I was in the second semester of my first year of college. At first all I wanted was to document some things that went on in my life. Almost like a scrap book of my ideas and adventures with friends during this crazy college experience. For the most part I would post like once every four months and even stopped altogether for awhile as different things kept capturing my attention.
It wasn't until recently that I started blogging about products, routines, and other things in my life that I enjoy and wanted to share with the blogging community. For me it has never been about getting a bunch of readers but just as a place where I could publicly share some of the goings-on in the life of a twenty-something who was living far away from home.
Another part of this "rebranding" is that in a few short weeks (almost like 50 days?!?!) I will be leaving New York City. I have grown accustomed to making tiny changes in preparation for big life changes. For the most part I compartmentalize change by making sure it goes in increments. This could be anywhere from how I'm going to move my stuff back across the country to should I dye my hair before I graduate or right after to signal the next step.
April, I can already tell, is going to be the pivotal month of this new experience. School work is manageable, retail work is manageable, friendships are manageable. But there are so many tiny details that need to be finished before May 22nd (my graduation day) and June 1st (the day I move back to California). The job search is what it is and surprisingly I am handling the stress of this remarkably well even though I have only gotten responses from companies that I don't really see myself fitting into. I will be *reluctantly* moving home until I can save up for a deposit on an apartment and I am already making plans for later in the year to travel with old friends.
It's really crazy to be having such an adjustment after I literally feel like I just moved here. The apartment feels like home and I can remember back to last May where I couldn't imagine having to live in such a tiny place for what seemed like a very very VERY long year.
So I guess that's what The Leg Up is doing for me. It's just one of the thousands of changes I am making before the next step. This path of education is coming to a very swift ending, one that I have really only mentally prepared for these past few months.
Some of you may be asking "Why the leg up?"
Well obviously, if I haven't said before, I am quite tall and I thought it would be fun to do a play on words for the new title. The idiom - getting a leg up - is like getting a boost from life. That's what I want this blog to be for this new phase. For the readers, for myself, for whomever may come across it. I think we could all use some support (even support as common as what new makeup to buy at the drugstore).
So thanks for sticking around and welcome to The Leg Up! As always xoxo Sam

hello hello! back at it again a few weeks later... things have been so unbelievably hectic lately I really haven't had a moment *where I'm not sleeping* to myself. But starting last Thursday I was officially on my first day of my last spring break! And seeing as today is the first day of spring I thought I would share with you all my holiday week :)
the first five days are very easy to sum up: workworkworkworkworkworkwork. I literally worked 9 hour days at Gap starting Friday all the way to Tuesday. Between the travel, the crazy sale the store was having, and the time change (literally death itself) I would come home at the days end and collapse on the couch a comatose state until the next morning where I would get up and do it all over again. 
It felt kind of like the Kink's song "A Well Respected Man": Cause he gets up in the morning and he goes to work at nine
And he comes back home at five-thirty, gets the same train every time

Let me start off by saying I am not here to tell people how they should live their lives. These are just some of the experiences that I have had with food & nutrition that I thought I would share with you all. Every has their own way of life and I respect that their choice is exactly that... THEIR choice.
When I was a kid I was always very lanky. My diet mainly consisted of chicken stars from Carl's Jr. and I was crazy picky with other foods. When I got to middle school I got that awkward heaviness that usually comes with puberty. I wasn't over weight but I had what my best friend's mom called "puppy tummy." Of course when I grew almost a foot (5'2'' to 6'0'') in a year in eighth grade I leaned out again but I was never by any means overly skinny. I had hips and bigger breasts and that was just the way I was.
I played volleyball very seriously during high school but always seemed to be out of shape. I would do the same exercises as my teammates, eat the same, etc. But I was always last to come in when we ran, I would grow very short of breath, and at one training I actually when into aerobic shock and passed out. At this point my mom was concerned and so I went and got my lungs checked out and it turned out I had asthma. This made me feel much better about myself because finally their was an explanation for why I could never quite get over this barrier that I faced when I was active.
When I quit volleyball my muscle mass went down dramatically but of course without all the activity I actually became less and less healthy. I've never had a great relationship with food and eventually I found myself being consumed with calorie counting. Towards the end of my senior year of high school I started to purge the food I was eating. No one knew except for a close friend and she, being a naive high school girl, was surprisingly supportive of it. At the time I felt happy that I could share this secret with someone and not feel any guilt from them.
By the time I got to college I had a full on eating disorder. And surprisingly enough I was the heaviest weight I had been. I would eat anything I wanted (cookies, chicken fingers, mozzarella sticks) and walk back to my dorm room, sit in the shower, and puke it up. Then one day I told my best friend from home because I really thought nothing of it. When he flipped out on me I really didn't know what to do. No one had reprimanded me for my behavior and I felt like I was getting away with doing these horrible things to my body.
Eventually my sister found out and the wrath really came down on me. I am so so happy she intervened because I was very content with that lifestyle. I would lie if I said I am 100% over that mentality. I thankfully haven't purged in almost 3 years now but the calorie restriction is a daily battle I face.
Being home always makes me feel more active. Perhaps it was growing up playing volleyball that I enjoy hiking, jogging, biking, etc. when I'm home. Unfortunately when I'm in New York I have fallen into very low caloric diets to stay thin but my body has been incredibly weak because of it.
The reason I started this post was because I have recently had a turn around. I'm tired of the lack of energy, untoned muscle, and just generally laziness I have when I'm at school.
My Goal: 
I don't intend to lose weight by any means because according to the bmi for my height I am healthy. But I know that my internal healthfulness is seriously lacking and the only one who is going to benefit from changing my habits is me. My goal is to work out a minimum of 4 times and week with a goal to workout every single day. Even if it's just going on the bike for 25 minutes to get my heart rate up. I also intend to cut cheese and eventually all dairy from my diet. Luckily the fitness communities on Instagram, Youtube, etc. are very supportive of all body types. By my graduation I want to feel energetic and fit before I take the next step. Obviously May isn't too far off but I know that I will face some battles along the way (mama loves candy) but I really want this to be a lifestyle change that I can maintain for years to come.
We hear it all the frickin' time but we only have one body and we really should be taking care of it the best way we possibly can. If you sat through this long post I applaud you ha ha! But if you are feeling the same way I say let's band together and start this journey to a happier and most of all healthier lifestyle!
Much love alway xoxo Sam

Well, hello there. After a brief hiatus I am finally feeling back to my normal self again. There was so much going on in my life at the start of February that I felt so disconnected from everything and, for me, blogging is something I do as a way to express myself. But how can you express yourself when you don't feel like yourself at all???