The Senior Summer


I swear I blink and summer is already over. It is really just insanity in my mind. But I am feeling really ready for this final year. As absolutely terrifying the whole idea of ending college feels like, I am so so SO so ready to be out. Being home obviously gives me a glimpse at the life I lived prior to college. As I have probably said before, being home I always revert back to that person I was. Someone whose insecurities always got the better of them. It is honestly the worst feeling in the world to know that you have left and accomplished so much in the world but come home and immediately feel like a teenager again.

It has taken a few fights and tears for me to realize that I am NOT the same person that I was. I have experienced so much outside of home that I can't even begin to comprehend it all. 
That awkwardly tall girl in high school has walked in New York Fashion Week, studied and traveled in Europe for 5 months, and (of course) moved to New York City not knowing a single person. 
There were a ton of people who thought I wouldn't be able to do it. My mom got countless calls from friends parents warning her that this decision would not be good for me. Perhaps it fueled my fire but there were moments where I doubted myself. I think it's normal to question your strength and even healthy. But never in my life did I think it would all go so fast. 
Just like the clichéd post-grad movies have told you, everyone is asking what my plans are after school. Staying in New York? Who knows! Moving home? Who knows! But I can tell you all I'm not nervous. 
If leaving has taught me anything it's that things have a magical way of working themselves out. It takes effort and sacrifices but it always works itself out whether its for better or worse. 
I am sad to be leaving my family and close friends who provide a level of support that I always crave when I'm away. But I know that this is the final year before life really starts. I am mentally preparing myself for all the possibilities that await me when I get that piece of paper. 
I am not naive to the world we are living in now. Whether I get a salary paying dream job straight out of college isn't even a thought in my mind. I am just going to do the only thing I can do, give my 100%. 

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