There are times like this in my life when I feel compelled to bring up the topic of mental illness on my blog. While I won't share any names or personal details I came home Friday night from work to my mom absolutely devastated. A woman she worked closely with had taken her life the night before. A beautiful and young woman with a loving family and devoted husband.
It, rightly so, gave a somber atmosphere to our home as we discussed and argued about the complexities of depression. There was no right response and there were no wrong conclusions. Digesting this type of information is... well, it's personal. It's your own life experience making sense of the action and the result. Telling someone they don't understand doesn't change how they feel. When the topic of suicide comes up, how can you really ever find a definitive explanation? In my experience, you can't.

I have dealt with mental illness for my entire life. While I personally do not suffer significantly, my most nearest and dearest loved one's have. That's not to say I've never had periods of time where I felt situationally depressed, but I always went to someone else for help. 
I sometimes wonder if people use the term "selfish" and suicide as an excuse. Who is the one who determines the selfishness? Could I ever look someone in the eyes who is so trapped in the depths of their own life that they're being selfish? Or should I try my hardest to understand. To really reach out to them and have them explain to me the burden they carry every single day. To console them in my own way, try to guide them towards receiving the proper care and nourishment, and know that the choices they make have to be their own.

Telling someone how loved they are has to be an acknowledgement from their mind. The brain needs to accept and fire the right neurons to really feel at ease. And in the mind of someone struggling with mental health, it may never fire right. 
So I don't want to be too somber with you all but I did feel it important to share. My heart breaks at the thought of those suffering and the loved ones left in their wake. Fill yourself with love and light every morning when you wake up. Feel happiness from the tips of you toes to your forehead. Because to quote the great Lin-Manuel Miranda "Love is love is love is love is love is love is love is love, cannot be killed or swept aside." Xoxo Sam

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