ADVICE // LEARNING WHEN TO LET GO
16:36
Hi loves! I hope all is well in your life and that the universe is giving you all the support and guidance you need. As I'm sitting here I am deciding why I feel the need to write this blog post. It's nothing beauty related, no fashion tips will be found here. And yet, writing things out is how I find clarity.
So maybe amongst this jumbled rambling of my own thoughts you will find something that you identify with. We all hold on to toxic things in our lives. It could be a person, a group of people, a community, a lifestyle, etc. But the truth is there are always those aspects of our life that, let's face it, take away from our happiness.
Without getting too into detail (don't think I'm ready to divulge the grim details quite yet) a person, a very important person in my life, has traveled down a very lonely road. For years and years and years I have played the game of completely letting this person fall out of my life and needing to keep them close to me.
It has been a learning lesson, one that has prepared me for many other situations I have faced in life. A model of how not to live, how not to treat others, and most importantly how not to treat myself. Through all the heartbreak, the turmoil, the devastation there have also been very happy memories. Memories I could never think back on without a smile.
It would be unfair to say that this person has always brought me unhappiness. But, the unhappiness speaks volumes compared to the happy times. So... now what?
Take Time
This step can be gradual or it can be like a bandaid. You and only you know how this relationship has to end. If you are smoking too many cigarettes and no matter how hard you try you can't quit, give yourself time. Take it day by day and trust your strength. If you are in the process of breaking up, give yourself time. Not only time to say the proper goodbye, but also the time to let your heart heal all its wounds. It could take 3 days, 3 months, or 3 years. The same steps can be taken anywhere from dieting to shopping. Take your time.
Look Inward
What was it specifically that led you to this place? Were there signs along the way that should have been bright and flashing but were left unnoticed? Reflecting on how you are feeling in these relationships is incredibly valuable to letting go. Maybe these thoughts bring tears to your eyes every single time you think of them. And why is that? Where are those tears coming from really? Are they from hurt, anger, resentment, or are you sad that you are needing to let go at all? There are so many ways to look inward and find your answer. It's there I promise you.
Coping with the Loss
To start off smaller, let's say you have a shopping addiction and you are in a debt crisis. When you finally find the time and understanding needed to stop there will be feelings of loss. Giving up junk food? Yep, still a loss. Saying goodbye to a dear friend... that is a deep loss. Leaving a relationship that was once full of love? You will feel the grief of loss. This stress on the heart and mind will be the hardest thing to overcome. You will always wonder if it was the right decision. You may even find yourself falling back into the situations only to return at the starting line of letting go. It takes a strong person to leave but it takes a stronger person to stay away. Stay strong my lovelies.
So this may not be your therapists advice but it is coming from my current real life experience. The anxiety and sadness can be overwhelming when you are faced with these situations. But when you get there (don't worry I'm not there yet either) these heavy weights will be lifted from you. Trust your own process and keep your chin up.
Xoxo Sam
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