Oi vey. That's about the only phrase that I can think of right now (besides maybe Oof or Egh) that could describe my life at the moment. I just kind of feel like I've not only hit a wall but I came swinging into it on a rope, blindfolded. The pressure of finding a job after university got to me. THERE I SAID IT! I am in a full on post grad crisis and I have never felt less sure about the future and I'm pretty sure I'm gonna have a full on Britney Spears '07 meltdown any minute now...
With that being said I'm not unhappy if that makes sense? No it doesn't? Yeah I don't get it either.
I guess if I could sum it up I am feeling good mentally in terms of who I am, my body, my relationships, etc. So where am I getting frustrated you (--I) may be wondering? As I have been processing everything after graduation I know that all I want to do is be creative. I want to find a career in a field that I can express creativity. 
But you wanna know what I am truly realizing? The creative process is sooooooooooooooooooooooo individual that there is no sure fire way to go about it. 
Here's a list of things I enjoy to express creatively:
1. Writing
2. Drawing
3. Film Editing/Producing

Here's a list of things I actual can put on a resume:
1. Starting a book/script and getting annoyed
2. Drawing half a picture and getting annoyed
3. Not getting the editing perfect and getting annoyed

I know I ain't alone here people! I know there a tons upon millions upon billions of people who are like "yeah Sam, I get that" so what's the advice? 

On top of this poo sandwich I've made there's the pressure of the real world -- the real world mostly consisting of my family -- that will. not. quit. The nagging about job apps, interview clothes for interviews I don't have, or comparisons to other people my age who are actually doing a semi good job at appearing like they have their shit together. It has gone from being a shit storm to a poonami and soon I'll be all out of poop jokes and then where will we be?

So if you find that my blogs are not as WOOHOO or LOOKY LOOKY it's because I am slowly being crushed into a pancake from all the pressure of real world grown up-y stuff and lordy lord. It ain't goin well. 

much love, as always, xoxo Sam

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