So back in 2013 when I was finishing up my first year of college I wrote a list of fifty different things I had learned during my time away. It is so funny to read back on them and honestly for the most part they are still very true. But as I have now completed four years I think I have a more complete understanding of myself and my time here. So I figured I would make a final list on the 50 most important lessons I've learned in college.
1. There's a 99.99% you're going to change your major.
2. Become friends with your professor, laugh at their dumb jokes, ask for guidance.
3. If you feel you are being treated unfairly by a professor, speak up. Chances are other students feel the same.
4. Grades are always negotiable.
5. If you think all nighters are a good idea...you're wrong. Do it once to say you have.
6. Learn the power of time management early on.
7. Extracurriculars are great but don't let them take over your life.
8. Read the g-dang books you are assigned in English classes. Reading is one of life's greatest treasures.
9. If you know your passion never let others interfere.
10. It's okay to not know your passion yet... keep experiencing life, it will come.
11. You may love your college town, you may hate your college town, but let it teach you a lesson about yourself.
12. There's a great chance you'll look into transferring... really assess if your current situation is as bad as you think it is.
13. Netflix should be consumed sparingly.
14. You are going to make best friends in college.
15. You are going to lose best friends in college.
16. That party/bar/frat house will most likely never be as great as spending a night in watching movies with friends.
17. Write your essays ahead of time. Don't become the night-before monster.
18. If you drink, make sure you trust the people you are with.
19. Having a bad day, week, semester is something everyone experiences.
20. Study Abroad. STUDY ABROAD. Even if they tell you it's impossible. Even if you have to take out loans. It will change you.
21. Don't study abroad with friends. Learning to travel alone will be extremely valuable.
22. Go somewhere you don't know the language.
23. Learn a new language in college. It could be the only chance you get.
24. Internships aren't going to come to you. It takes work.
25. Not having an internship doesn't make you a failure. Volunteer or join a club, it's all about experience.
26. Your parents miss you. Give them a call every once in awhile.
27. Leave your hometown for college.
28. Everyone has their own shit going on. But you are never to busy to call an old friend.
29. It's good you didn't peak in high school, it's even better not to peak in college... be patient that your time will come.
30. One day you'll look back at the memory of your first insane college roommate and laugh.
31. Don't compromise your own values to make friends.
32. Find people who are pieces of you, not the whole picture. Be unique.
33. Take advice sparingly... no one knows you like you do.
34. If you get a tattoo: Don't be drunk. Don't be cheap. Don't tell your parents.
35. It's okay to sleep around and it's okay to not sleep with anyone. Trust your intuition.
36. You will probably gain weight and lose it. You are more than the size of your jeans.
37. The cafeteria should never be taken for granted. Free chicken nuggets won't always be a reality.
38. If you thought you couldn't imagine a life without a boy maybe you don't love yourself as much as you thought.
39. If you do something awkward or embarrassing really own the moment.
40. Getting exempt from finals isn't a myth but it does take a lot of effort.
41. GPA doesn't reflect who you are as a person but it does reflect your dedication to learning.
42. Don't let people walk all over you. Find your voice but learn when to let things go.
43. There will be days you think it won't end. And there will be days you think it went too fast.
44. Don't kill yourself trying to be employed straight out of college. You have the rest of your life to work.
45. If you move somewhere cold... buy a good coat.
46. Take lots of pictures.
47. Four quarters is better than 100 pennies.
48. Say thank you to your parents.
49. Never take this time for granted.
50. ...

Officially back in my apartment in New York after an absolutely lovely and refreshing winter break at home with my family. It's never easy for me leaving California but I can proudly say I did not cry once the day I left. I made it a point to stay strong as I know that after a quick few months I will be returning to my hometown to figure out the next stage of my life (more on how I feel about this in another post). It seems like the break was really split into two parts which made it feel even longer - the holidays and January. Christmas was so much fun but was so exhausting as we really had two long long days of family reunions (so much food I still can't think about it).

New Years went how New Years usually goes for me... not my favorite. It was actually New Years day that I found I had way more fun than the night before. Maybe I should remember that for next year...

hey hey hey! Wow, I truly hate to see how long ago the last post was written. This blog may not be super popular but I was excited to see the number of page views growing over the past few months as I put more energy into writing better and more interesting content. It really was more of an experiment, but one that I thoroughly enjoyed!!! When I got home from school I went on a mental and physical reset. You never know how much you have over done it until you come home and just go into total detox mode. Catching up with friends and family, preparing for Christmas, reading books I actually wanted to read, binge watching TV shows... the list went on and it was all lovely.
I was also feeling very unlike myself. It is not uncommon for me to get inside my head too much when I'm away from my family for a long time. The Thanksgiving trip was such a whirlwind I don't think I sat down for more than 5 minutes trying to see everyone and do all the things that I wanted to do while home. I always start to feel like myself again here... which can be both a good thing and well a really bad thing.
I am someone who always battles with self doubt. Sometimes it is the easiest thing to just be like no that'll never work out. Last year I really tried to be outside my comfort zone as much as possible. And I think I am still setting the foundation in my mind for being able to reach my own success. Call it life therapy because I know I came home at a time when I needed an intervention.
And that is what I am going to be talking about at least once a week on this blog. Discovery. That is my word for 2016. Every single time I am going to be in a new situation I am going to think about this word. As I am graduating from Uni this semester and entering into the job world... there are so so SO many unknowns. As a Taurus it is in my nature to have a hard time adjusting to big life changes. That is why I am going to create all the ground work and preparation to make sure that this giant change is nothing more than a smooth flow of gradual adjustments.
I ask that if anyone else is feeling the same that you come along with me on this journey this year. Having a community that is understanding and empathetic can make big life changes so much more possible to conquer. Sure your family is great but 9 times out of 10 they aren't in the same position you are. And although they may think they can relate they still see you and your situation from an outside perspective. But that is why the internet is so much fun! There are people like you, facing similar (if not exact) experiences as you are. I mean how rad is that. So come and discover with me my friends! Let's see how we can make 2016 such a beautiful year full of happiness and balance.
Be back soon xoxo Sam

I can't fathom how fast this month has gone by. I mean literally the month of October felt like a never ending cyclone of work and projects and all this other stuff that it just dragged on. But November, which I expected to take FOREVER because of the holidays at the end of the month, has actually flown by and I am just trying to figure out ways to play catch-up with myself.
But more than that Thanksgiving is finally just around the corner! If I haven't said before it really is one of my favorite holidays. I feel like it is a nice little stop before Christmas and brings your family together to share in wonderful conversations, make great memories, and (most importantly) eat massive amounts of food.
My family has some amazing chefs so I can always expect to eat ridiculously amazing food for hours on end. Perhaps this year I'll actually get to sit at the "adult table" (being the youngest in your family keeps you at the kiddie table eternally). But I am so excited to see all my loved ones after so long.
I wanted to just do something fun for this post so below are some game ideas you and your families can play.
*these are not my ideas but I will link you to the source below*

Thanksgiving Bingo (Flavor Wire): This version of bingo is for adults and is probably the most fun if you're the cynical type. Flavor Wire has created four humorous bingo cards and participants cover the squares as the day progresses and they observe things like running out of gravy, someone coming late, a drunk uncle, a pet stealing food, someone starting a story with "when I was your age."

"The Best" (The Idea Room): describes this game which can be played any time of year but is particularly well suited for a large gathering. You divide into teams and compete in silly contests like who can stand on one foot the longest, who has the tallest thumb and any other contests you can invent.

Pass the Nut (Improvements Catalog): Don't worry, this is not a version of passing an orange from neck to neck, but with a small nut - that sounds a bit too intimate. This is essentially a relay race where teams carry small objects like nuts and cranberries from bowl to bowl with chopsticks.

Turkey Tag (Let's Get Together): This is an outdoor game for kids and adults and is a Thanksgiving-themed version of flag tag. The gist is that each person wears three clothespins on their clothing and then everyone runs around trying to remove clothespins from everyone else.

Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade Drinking Game: If watching the televised parade is a part of your family's annual tradition, mix it up by making it into a drinking game (and not necessarily alcoholic!). A few years ago Chicago Now published their ideas for prompts like "Drink every time a musical performer messes up the lip syncing". The bloggers at Cookies & Sangria have a similar list (although they suggest doing exercises instead of drinking!) including doing a set of jumping jacks when "the hosts refer to bad parade weather in the distant past (>25 years ago)".

Top Turkey Artist (Creative Youth Ideas): This game is a contest to see who can draw the best turkey without looking. The version described here involves putting a book on your head and using that as a drawing surface, but it seems simpler to just blindfold people.

Card Games: A good card game for a mixed-ages group is Uno, if you have a deck. Other games that are easy to learn are Crazy Eights, Hearts, I Doubt It and Spoons. If you're fuzzy on some of the rules for a card game, Bicycle Cards has a free app with rules to 75 card games that you can download.

Board Games: Board games are kind of a no-brainer. Choose based on the age groups you have or break into a kids group and an adult group. Favorites of mine for adults include Scattergories, Trivial Pursuit, Outburst and Taboo. Good ones for kids are Candy Land, Chutes & Ladders and Richard Scarry's Busytown Eye Found It!.

Parlor Games (One Kings Lane): Parlor games are games for groups to play that don't require a board or anything purchased. The most classic and well known is charades. If you don't know any, here's a list of modern twists on classic parlor games.

Conversation starters: This is less of a "game" and more of a fun way to spark conversations, especially as you're sitting around the table. Either have guests write a few of their own questions or write them yourself ahead of time and then draw them from a bowl and go around the table taking turns answering them. Questions can be anything you like, such as "Where have you always wanted to travel, but haven't yet?", "What is your least favorite food?", "What's something most people here don't know about you?"

Finally finally finally! My all-time favorite season has arrived and I am so so so ready for it!
The summer is always incredible but being in NYC... this. humidity. is. killing. me.
So I figured I would do the Fall Favorites Tag, although meant for a youtube video, on my blog!
This is inspired by the amazing and fabulous makeup artist Jaclyn Hill *if you haven't heard of her then you need to climb out from behind that rock*
So the first question is...
Favorite Fall Candle: So believe it or not I have fallen in love love love with the glade Pumpkin Pie Diner that you can find pretty much anywhere. It is literally the essence of fall. One whiff and I am thrown into a thanksgiving day turkey coma.

If I could express the amount of change that has occurred just over the past week or so that I last posted into words... I just CAN'T.
My rejuvenation for life has increased tenfold and each day I wake up excited to be alive. I finally, after thousands of resumes, cover letters, tears and outbursts of anger, I have gotten an internship.
To say it suits me perfectly is an understatement. It suits me DIVINELY.
All my life I have been unable to tell people if I am proud of myself or not. I always try to stay humble and respect others. Most people, especially peers, have a hard time with others success. I know that I suffer from it! I can be the most envious of people (something I have talked about in an old blog post) but right now I can't help but feel overjoyed that all the effort I have put into searching for an internship has actually worked out into the most wonderful opportunity.
**I will tell you all more about the company in another post**
BUT WAIT THERE IS MORE
This past weekend I went to Boston to meet my mom and her friend for a short (very short) getaway. And I fell madly in love with the place.
After New York, anywhere seems like disneyland. The streets were clean, the people were smiling, there were no intense crowds, and there was a slight breeze that added just the perfect touch to an all day tourist sightseeing extravaganza.
We also went to Salem which fulfilled my love for all things witch, somewhere I had been dying to see since I moved to the East Coast.
It really was just an amazing trip and left me refreshed and ready for school to start Monday!
Classes are fine, not much to say about those. But with everything else going so well (fingers crossed it stays like this way for awhile) I figure school will also go according to plan.

I am not even going to lie with you. I am having an extremely hard time being back in New York. "One more year" is all I hear from everyone. "It'll go so fast you'll wish you could go back." "Live it up, real life starts after."
While those are all well and true it is far different to give advice to someone than actually having to live it. When one year seems like the rest of your life. When the days drag by so slow you just want to take a million sleeping pills and hope it goes faster in your dreams. When you are so ready for real life to start that all you imagine is this life after it all.
Leaving California was like getting stabbed directly into the heart. I know it was hard on my family to see me that way. To see me beg and plead not to go back. So maybe I'm writing this because I need advice. The type of advice that will help me through the never ending days. Advice on how to not feel in your heart that you are meant to be somewhere 3000 miles away every single day of your life.
I'll get through it. I've done it for three years now and I've come through on the other side.
Even the days when I thought I wouldn't be able to get out of bed or look at another human without crying, I made it through.
This summer has been a type of recovery for me that I didn't even know I needed. One that has shown me things about myself and the person I am becoming. I know I can be proud of myself for leaving. For doing the things my high school self could only dream of.  But what if it's just not enough anymore. What if I'm tired of disconnecting with friends and missing out on family events. What do I do now?

I swear I blink and summer is already over. It is really just insanity in my mind. But I am feeling really ready for this final year. As absolutely terrifying the whole idea of ending college feels like, I am so so SO so ready to be out. Being home obviously gives me a glimpse at the life I lived prior to college. As I have probably said before, being home I always revert back to that person I was. Someone whose insecurities always got the better of them. It is honestly the worst feeling in the world to know that you have left and accomplished so much in the world but come home and immediately feel like a teenager again.

Isn't it funny how we can talk ourselves into a hole only to realize... it wasn't as hard as we thought. I feel kind of embarrassed by my last post. I was having a major pity party and it makes me disappointed to see myself get so low.
Sometimes we need to express how we feel and sure you can ask the people you love and respect for advice, but sometimes that isn't enough. It was nice to say exactly what I was feeling, no holds barred. But I don't like having such a pessimistic view about life. I genuinely enjoy the highs and lows that come with growing up. I know that things could be a thousand times worse and I am grateful for everything that comes my way.
That being said, I did think about taking down my last post altogether. Who wants that negativity spouted out for all of the internet to see? However, as I often find myself reading back at old posts, I am choosing to keep it up. I want to be able to look back and remember that a bad day doesn't mean a bad life.
Things get rough and frustrating. This is a fact of life that people deal with at every age. About 90% of the time things won't go the way you want them to. And that sucks, like majorly, but there is always a silver lining.
College is hard. It's the in-between of adulthood and childhood which can get truly aggravating. But it is temporary and soon enough it will be a memory that I will hold dear to my heart. Who knows maybe I'll even miss some things about it.
As the last few weeks of the semester bulldoze their way in I am reminded of the fact that all things come to an end. Childhood has come to an end and that is perhaps the scariest fact of all.
Looking towards the future. I don't know what's next and its scary and thrilling and a thousand different emotions all at one time.
But I'll get through. One way or another I'll come out on the other side.

Can't believe I am actually writing this post from my room in New York! It has been nine long long LONG months away from this beautiful place and I am so full of happiness to be back. A little update on winter break: great. wonderful. full of adventure. WAY too short.

As I'm in sitting in the JFK terminal the reality is sinking in. 9 months away from the city and the people that I love so much. Sure it's not always pretty and it's definitely not always fun but there are moments ( like sitting on a huge rock in van cordtlant park at midnight) that breath life back into your lungs. I remember a few months back I hated the city. I hated the people. And I hated school. After realizing that it wasn't the city or the people or the school I really tried to remember my 17 year old self that cried and pleaded with her mother to let her move across the country to a city that held all the possibilities to a perfect life. Obviously... It wasn't perfect. But as I was walking block after block last night saying goodbye to the buildings and the streets that have shaped who I am I felt it again.

It's inevitable right? There is no way to stop it and yet we all try... every single day of our lives we try to stop change from happening. I love the beginning of semesters because its like a breath of fresh air. But then the reality hits in when I think I am one semester closer to being finished with college and preparing for the world ahead. It's a scary thought, but one that comes with much preparation and excitement. Seeing my sister finish school was thrilling for me just as much as it was for her. Finally I was seeing firsthand what life after school could be like and... well... not so good. She was (and still is) absolutely terrified of the road ahead. Graduating a semester early she didn't have a set plan. Although she has had mountains and mountains of support from her friends and family to do whatever she wants to do she is still hesitant. School loans and low job opportunities are staring her straight in the face and, like many other recent grads, it all looks so bleak. I am not necessarily the most optimistic person but I do try to make sure that everyone around me stays positive. Trying to convince my sister that everything will be okay and that not having it figured out at 21 is perfectly normal, but the truth is that I don't really know how she feels. For at least another 2 years I am bound to my school work and, other than looking for part time work, I do not have to join the real world.
Like I said earlier change is going to happen whether we are prepared or not. You can face it with trepidation and dread or you can grab change and make it whatever you want to be! Change up your morning routine, your workout routine, your social life. All of these things CAN be in your control as long as you have the desire to do it.
“Man cannot discover new oceans unless he has the courage to lose sight of the shore.” -Andre Gide - 

Maybe it's the idea of a new year that creates the endless opportunity of a fresh start. Shedding your skin and reaching towards those goals that at one time seemed completely unattainable. I like to choose a word every year that I will try to live my life by. Last years word was Learn, whether it was about myself, in school, or taking the time to learn more about the world around me. This years word is balance. A problem I have suffered from is losing total balance when things in my life go in a different direction than I thought. Finding that balance will hopefully help me keep my feet firmly on the ground and my head out of the sky. The reality of growing older each year is coming to terms with the fact that all things are in your control. People will only hurt you if you let them. People will only love you if you let them. Recently I saw a gif set on tumblr that really grabbed my attention. It was a scene from the lion king when Rafiki hits Simba on the head and Simba asks what that was for. Rafiki responds "it doesn't matter. It's in the past." to which Simba says "yeah, but it still hurts.", and here is where the real wisdom comes in, Rafiki's response is "Oh yes, the past can hurt. But from the way I see it, you can either run from it, or... learn from it." Probably one of the greatest things I have ever heard and it comes from a cartoon. I have seen firsthand how detrimental holding onto the past can be to a person. Of course your past is important because you are who you are today because of your experiences. But guess what... EVERY NEW DAY IS AN OPPORTUNITY TO CHANGE YOURSELF. Every new sunrise is a clean slate. If that doesn't fill your heart with hope and happiness then I don't know what can. Love harder than you've ever loved. Cry when you're sad. Laugh until your cheeks hurt. Try new things. Meet new people. Live by your heart and not by your head. Balance is key. "Balance, my darling, is never letting anyone love you less than you love yourself."

Well everybody it is officially the end of my first week of sophomore year! I don't even know where to begin. I guess I can start with having to say goodbye to my AMAZING california friends last friday at a little bonfire on the beach (minus the bonfire). I always pray that saying goodbye will get easier and easier each time I leave but I am now finding out that the opposite is happening. I can't help to feel that as I am going on a different path with my life, so are all my friends. To think that one day I will return home and they will all have either moved away or just moved on is terrifying. Of course I know that most of my friends will be life long. Being that I am 3000 miles away from them, maintaing constant interaction proves to be extremely difficult. None the less knowing that I have such an amazing support system back home is always empowering as I venture into the unknown.

I am literally sitting hear in awe of the fact that tomorrow is July 1st. Has it really been a month and a half that I have been out of school?!?! Anywhooo this summer has been fantastico! Apart from the fact that it took my work a month to finally hire me back I consider it a blessing in disguise. Sure it would have been nice to make more money this summer but the time that I got to spend not only with friends and family but also alone was precious. I have done more this summer in this short time than I did in a year when I lived here full time. Do I miss New York? Absolutely. Do I miss my college friends? More than words. But I thank God everyday that I grew up in such an amazing place with such amazing people.