BLOGTOBER DAY 6 // HALLOWEEN PAST

anxiety

Sometimes the nostalgia of holidays is incredible to think about. There are so many memories packaged into one day. All of the changes of your life can be marked by what you did that day a year ago, five years ago, or even 45 years ago. As a child, who was there holding your hand when you walked to the door? As a teenager, were you going to cheesy discos or still secretly trick-or-treating? As an adult, where are you headed on halloween night or do you sit by the door waiting for the new wave of children to come ask for sweeties? 
There is so much power in holidays and sometimes those past memories can even make you feel sad or angry. Maybe you feel anxiety whenever someone mentions Christmas or New Years because old feelings from years past rise to the surface. Either way many of these holidays are milestones in your life. That's why I thought it would be fun to look back at old halloween costumes just as a little reminder of what I was doing at this time years ago!

Top 5 Christmas Movies

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Hello Hello! I have to say I'm surprised with myself for getting a blog post out yesterday (considering I had to write two blog posts for my internship *soon to be on SoleScriptions Blog!*) but here we are for day 2 of December! Maybe it's just my obsession with Christmas but I really am so inspired to create as much content for the blog this month as I can. I know that I have other responsibilities I should be focusing on (schoolwork? job applications? present buying?) but 'tis the season to procrastinate!
Today I wanted to share with you all my top 5 Christmas movies. I challenged my best friend to watch at least one Christmas movie everyday until Christmas... it may be overly ambitious and we will part ways about 5 days before Christmas but why not add a little more to our already full plate this month!
Without further ado here are is my personalized list of Christmas movies:

1. The Grinch
Hands down. No competition. All around. BEST. CHRISTMAS. MOVIE. EVER.
You can disagree but you're wrong. Honestly if I'm being completely honest I think this would rank as one of my top ten movies ever! Call me crazy but I can watch this movie 50 times in a row and never (I repeat never) get sick of it. Just so so good.

2. The Santa Clause
Okay so getting a little personal this movie means a lot to me. I have a really awful memory and sometimes things in my childhood blur or just don't come to me as easy as other people. But one thing I remember with complete vividness (is that a word?) is my sister and I setting up Santa's workshop in our bathroom. She was Bernard (the head elf in the movie) and I was Julie (the girl elf) and we would spend hours and hours playing. And the best part was we would do this year round, not just during Christmas. I'm sure my parents thought we were nuts but that's okay. It is one of my favorite memories to look back on. 

3. Love Actually
I mean who doesn't love this Christmas movie. This is another one I can watch in July and not feel crazy because it is just such an amazing film.



4. The Holiday
I have gotten into some serious debates about whether this is a Christmas movie and will literally go to my grave saying that it most definitely is. I mean it's literally called THE HOLIDAY! Love Kate, love Cameron, love Jack, and love Jude. Just so so great.

5. Beauty and the Beast - The Enchanted Christmas
Ugh this movie. The songs are so amazing, it's belle (my fav Disney princess), and it's Christmas! My friend and I spent a good hour or so last week just talking about how much we love this movie and the songs. It's one that isn't necessarily popular or very well known but I love love love it!

Let me know in the comments what some of your favorite Christmas movies are so I can add them to my list for the 25 days! xoxo Sam


The End of the "Teens"

adulthood
I am going to start off by saying I HATE birthdays. The drama and the anxiety that surround this day has always been something that irritates me to no end. However, seeing as this is my official last week as a teenager, I am starting to get that unsettled feeling in the pit of my stomach. Can it really be that after next friday I am officially in my 20's?!?! 
I already hate getting older and I haven't even reached my 30's yet... something must be wrong with me right???
What I am looking forward to is a nice getaway to D.C. for my birthday weekend with my side-kick (fulfilling our House of Cards dreams) ;)
Happy Hump Day! 

Finding the Balance

adulthood
Maybe it's the idea of a new year that creates the endless opportunity of a fresh start. Shedding your skin and reaching towards those goals that at one time seemed completely unattainable. I like to choose a word every year that I will try to live my life by. Last years word was Learn, whether it was about myself, in school, or taking the time to learn more about the world around me. This years word is balance. A problem I have suffered from is losing total balance when things in my life go in a different direction than I thought. Finding that balance will hopefully help me keep my feet firmly on the ground and my head out of the sky. The reality of growing older each year is coming to terms with the fact that all things are in your control. People will only hurt you if you let them. People will only love you if you let them. Recently I saw a gif set on tumblr that really grabbed my attention. It was a scene from the lion king when Rafiki hits Simba on the head and Simba asks what that was for. Rafiki responds "it doesn't matter. It's in the past." to which Simba says "yeah, but it still hurts.", and here is where the real wisdom comes in, Rafiki's response is "Oh yes, the past can hurt. But from the way I see it, you can either run from it, or... learn from it." Probably one of the greatest things I have ever heard and it comes from a cartoon. I have seen firsthand how detrimental holding onto the past can be to a person. Of course your past is important because you are who you are today because of your experiences. But guess what... EVERY NEW DAY IS AN OPPORTUNITY TO CHANGE YOURSELF. Every new sunrise is a clean slate. If that doesn't fill your heart with hope and happiness then I don't know what can. Love harder than you've ever loved. Cry when you're sad. Laugh until your cheeks hurt. Try new things. Meet new people. Live by your heart and not by your head. Balance is key. "Balance, my darling, is never letting anyone love you less than you love yourself."

How To Write a Blog Post That Has No Train Of Thought

adulthood
To begin I want to start off by saying that one of my classes this year is english literature. Now for anyone that knows me English is probably one of my favorite subjects. Of course this also begins the questioning of why aren't you an english major? Well I have always had a realistic sense of the difference between doing what you love and loving what you do. I love love love to read. I also love love love to watch movies. However, when it comes down to the future I know that what I need to do in order to be successful is understand that I can still love to read and love to watch movies while working as oh I don't know... an advertiser?
Now for those of you who are doing exactly what you love (whether something with music, art, etc.) I commend you for being so strong. But often in life we have to do what we know in our hearts is right. 
I also love to learn. However I do not (and I repeat do not) love to study. Learning to me is the most amazing opportunity given to us. To be able to read a book or listen to a lecture and come out with a new or better understanding of the world is invaluable. 
To come to the point of this post (if there even is one) I have, I feel, a great understanding of who I am and what I like. I know my limits and I know what I excel in. Am I lazy sometimes? Of course. Am I right all the time? Absolutely not. But I know what I want in life and it has taken a long time for me to understand what exactly my reasoning behind coming to New York and changing my degree to advertising was. I think many teenagers nowadays feel like they are being rushed into choosing a major. But I have yet to meet a person here who has decided on a major say they aren't optimistic about the future. And perhaps we are too optimistic. But I would rather be naive than be jaded about the world at 19 years old. 

If you can, take the time today to think about what you love to do. And then think about what you are doing out of love (whether for yourself or someone else). 

Back to the Old Grind

adulthood
Well everybody it is officially the end of my first week of sophomore year! I don't even know where to begin. I guess I can start with having to say goodbye to my AMAZING california friends last friday at a little bonfire on the beach (minus the bonfire). I always pray that saying goodbye will get easier and easier each time I leave but I am now finding out that the opposite is happening. I can't help to feel that as I am going on a different path with my life, so are all my friends. To think that one day I will return home and they will all have either moved away or just moved on is terrifying. Of course I know that most of my friends will be life long. Being that I am 3000 miles away from them, maintaing constant interaction proves to be extremely difficult. None the less knowing that I have such an amazing support system back home is always empowering as I venture into the unknown.
Now to talk about saying goodbye to my beautiful mother. To say we went through a lot this summer is putting it mildly. The loss of our dog and 1 year anniversary of my grandfathers death, all within the same week might I add, really through us for a loop. As the days of my departure grew fewer and fewer I found myself digging my feet into the ground, completely powerless to stop it. How could I leave her at a time like this? My grandmother moving out the same weekend creating a almost completely empty 5 bedroom house! But I know I couldn't have done any of this without my mothers undying support. 
Finally to the actually journey back to New York. To start off I probably should NOT have taken a red eye the day before school started. Not only did I not sleep for a single second on the plane, I also had absolutely no time to even sit and think for the rest of the day. After getting ripped off by the taxi driver to school my mind was swimming with all the errands I had to accomplish in one day. Unpacking, checking in, buying a comforter, organizing, school books and supplies... the list went on. Luckily my amazing suite mate Christine was able to drive her car to all the places we needed to go! I am surprised that I was able to survive that day and also wake up for 8 o'clock class the next morning but of course it all worked out!
I am hopeful that this year is going to be fantastic but I can't shake the nervous feeling that each semester is passing by faster and faster until one day I will be off on my own! 


Freshman 50

adulthood
I figure that this long bus ride will give me all the time I need to think of the 50 most important things I have learned my freshman year. (in no particular order)
1. Getting lost is not always a bad thing, you could end up meeting your best friend (talking about you Cassandre)
2. Do not lower your standards for friends just because you are afraid of being a loner.
3. Don't make snap judgments on people because most of the time you are very, VERY wrong.
4. You will stay in touch with people you never thought you would.
5. You will lose touch with people you never thought you would.
6. Skype is one of the greatest inventions yet (even if your mom doesn't like it).
7. The more time you spend alone, the more homesick you are going to feel.
8. Coline is the Netflix champion because she can watch an entire season of Desperate Housewives in a day.
9. Not having a TV makes for a more productive life.
10. Netflix will cancel out all that productivity.
11. Sometimes the greatest nights are spent watching a movie with close friends.
12. Making forts is still so much fun but sleeping in them is not.
13. When the news names something "Frankenstorm", prepare accordingly.
14. Target was designed to hypnotize its customers into buying 100's of dollars of worthless shit every time you walk through the doors.
15. Don't go to target more than once a month.
16. Every time, EVERY TIME, you have to use the bathroom, one of your suite mates will be taking a shower
17. Don't lose a friendship because you feel torn between having to pick sides.
18. Do not walk up a muddy hill after it snows (christine this one is for you)
19. Boys like to play music loud enough that they have the experience of being in an actual club (whether this is true or not is unknown, but if not I do not understand the purpose of blasting loud dub step music...)
20. Its okay to go to bed at 11 at night in college (the stereotype that college kids don't get sleep is mainly for those with bad time management)
21. It is possible to go to bed at 3 every night and still function properly the next day
22. Do not take more than 3 naps a day or your brain will stop working
23. Don't take naps after 6 p.m.
24. If you are going to watch a movie that your friend loves, make sure you pay attention so you don't hurt their feelings.
25. Don't drink chocolate milk before a speech or you will choke half way through
26. You don't always have to go to museum sight visits because most of the time they have every artifact or design on the internet.
27. Museums are fun and a great way to waste time.
28. Always, ALWAYS bring a book with you on the subway.
29. Take advantage of everything the college has to offer.
30. Don't be afraid to audition for something (lets just say rocky horror) and make a complete fool out of yourself because it makes for a hilarious story
31. Don't quit something because of one bad experience
32. There is a club out there for everyone.
33. Do the readings even if you have to keep your eyes open with tape.
34. If you think the teacher may give a pop quiz, always be prepared.
35. If you think the teacher is not going to give a pop quiz, just know that they are.
36. Philosophy is NOT for everyone.
37. Be ready to listen to people's opinions that are completely different from your own and accept them for what they are. (i'm talking about you annoying kid in my philosophy class)
38. Just because you were bad at a subject in high school doesn't mean you will be horrible at it in college.
39. Don't choose a major going in to school unless you are absolutely certain that that is the path you want to go down.
40. Changing majors is frustrating and time consuming.
41. Do not get stuck in the no-workout rut.
42. If you do get stuck in the no-workout rut, make sure you plan your meals accordingly.
43. Yoga is the greatest invention ever.
44. Just because you can't (and probably never will) touch your toes, doesn't mean you can't enjoy yoga.
45. Don't laugh when you're in candlestick pose.
46. Don't get behind on laundry.
47. The laundry machines will never be empty on the weekends and don't talk yourself into thinking that they will be.
48. Spend as much time with friends as you possibly can because summer comes faster than you think
49. Remember it is not goodbye, it's "I'll see you later"
50. Never regret how you spent your time, but cherish how that time was spent.

Forever A Kid At Heart

adulthood
As I come to the realization that this will be my last year of being an official "teenager," I can't help but feel a growing sense of uneasiness that my childhood has officially ended. On Sunday my friends and I were riding the subway and we got into the topic of disney movies. We laughed at quotes some characters said and sang our favorite songs from as many movies as we could think of. Coline and I got really nostalgic and we have been watching disney movie after disney movie just to fill this sudden craving for the innocent plots of the films. As soon as the movie begins I feel I am being swept back into a time when everything was simpler and the actions you chose didn't make such a dramatic influence on your life. I have been having this feeling that everything I do, every move I make, I am actively choosing where my life is going. In my sociology class we learned that the notion of the teenager or adolescent is a fairly new concept. It wasn't until we began living longer, and therefore spending more time in the work force, that we labeled young adults as unfit to live on their own. And even though I know that adulthood begins at the time you hit puberty, I shudder to think about having to had start my life at 13 years old.
Of course there is that other side of me that is craving the day that I start life on my own. I know college is not the real world. I know that I have to be prepared for this giant world that is awaiting me. In my head I know I am an adult who is in charge of my fate, but in my heart, I am still the little girl who is sucking her thumb, completely oblivious to what the future has in store.

...p.s. I feel it is fitting that I got a cold on my birthday week. Reminds me even more of my childhood ;)

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