PERSONAL POST // CHANGE

I often write these posts and never publish them but I have a lot to say about what's been going on in life lately. Whether you've followed along with my blog or are a new reader, maybe you can find some similarities in this post as well. 

I graduated from university last May and have gone through huge transitions in life. I moved from New York to California, transitioned to a different store for my job, & adjusted to life post-schooling. It's been really, really difficult to adjust to, I can't lie. And I never could have expected life after school to be this way. 

There were days in New York that I would dream about being out in the real world. Succeeding and living out my biggest dreams. I moved to California to be closer to Los Angeles where I thought I would be moving to within the first few months of being back. 

Now that I'm almost 8 months out... How did things end up so different? 

I had a few emotional breakdowns at the beginning of February. I mean night-after-night tears and complete exhaustion from crying so much. It wasn't fun and it didn't give me any relief to share my frustrations. Then something clicked. 

*PLOT TWIST* I woke up on a Friday morning - after crying myself to sleep - and wrote out a two-week notice to leave my job. That same day I received an email for an interview from a very highly esteemed company. While I was on this elated high I also contacted a recruiter who immediately scheduled a meeting for me to come in. 

Meanwhile, all this is new energy is flowing around me and I start reflecting on my life. It's a good life. I am very grateful for what I have. And I refuse to feel pity for myself for not being at the imaginary finish line that I set for myself. 

It was terrifying to hand in my two-week notice. I almost passed out on my way into work with the letter in my hand. But that's what life is about. To quote Eleanor Roosevelt "Do one thing every day that scares you." 

If I could put into words how different I feel today compared to just a week ago it would be that I feel I can catch my breath. Like I wasn't getting enough oxygen and now I'm standing on top of a mountain of fresh air. 

So even though I don't have my life together, even though from the outside it looks like I'm a struggling young adult, I'm working my way to something better. I'm doing those scary things that push me from my comfort zone. Oh, yeah, & I dyed my hair ;)